Saturday, January 8, 2011

wow....T-.....uhmmm nevermind...yess?

mk sooooo aha i started that title a few days ago and it was going to something like "wow,,,, total transformation" or something like that... and i was/am.. but then again...and then it clicked? ahah it was like i had a transformation and then when the transformation was complete and i left that utopian environment it was like i was in withdrawal haha and i kind of tried to push it away from my mind because i missed it too much and my life went on not much different from before. but after a while when i looked back to it in nostalgia rather than in craving, i really felt filled. like i'd been newly replenished with good spirits hehe. and it felt GOOD!!!

i feel like i have more strength and determination to reach my goals that i did before. i feel more like ME strangely enough, since all these feelings come from me wanting to give my life completely to God! i say "want" because i can never be sure that i'm giving everything to Him even though i want to, my human nature is to want to keep everything for myself. but that's ok im working on it ;P

i mean its not like my life is perfect now, my grades still aren't the best, i still have midterms coming up, and school is still stupid but  somehow everything is....better?
life isn't perfect and i don't think life CAN be perfect but it's only as good as you let it be.

i'm just going to say  that in life there ARE downs and you can't keep them from coming but there are things that can make them bearable, as well as nourishing. one of those things is friends. They're always there for you, even if they're not always physically THERE, just knowing that they would be if they could is enough sometimes. and there's always someone who IS there all the time, but it really depends on you to whether or not you want Him to help ;P Don't you have those times where you dont need to talk you just need someone there to sit next to you while you cry? yeah. God is like that.... and you know what? sometimes he even gives you a pat on the shoulder.


  1. Hey mia!
    I'm glad to hear about your transformation! that exhilarating feeling you get from a wonderful retreat eh? I knw how that an empty cup being full again :D
    School...ew -.-'' my grades aren't awesome either atm.

  2. Very good to hear!! Let's go together when we're freshies in coolleggee :D hahaha