Tuesday, January 25, 2011

beginning of a journeyy....

here we goooo come with meeeee there's a world but there that we should see.... 9  more hours >~< i miss my friends (*family*) already

so so so... YAAAY im going to Taiwan.... NOOO i miss my friends who are pretty much my family TT^TT omg soo excited/nervous/sad/ CONFUSSEEEDD 

bleh w/e i think ill try to do some uptdates about how everything goes i guess blerr gtg pack i guess i'll see you guys!!

i should really start packing.... >~<;;;;

Saturday, January 15, 2011

mm song?

ermm so yeah i guess i did some song writing ;\ and basically the whole reason i'm posting this is because it needs a title heh heh so.... er yeah any ideas?

I’ve always been the one
Who’s left behind
With the box full of memories
And ever since we met
It’s been on my mind
Then I think to myself
“Ha! oh please…”

But you know….

*It would be nice to have someone to run to
Somebody who loves me as much as I love them
For who I am
And it’s be nice to have a man
Who’d actually says as he takes my hand
“I’ll never be the one to let you go
And even if I’m gone you’ll always know
You’re the only one I love  and I ain’t leaving until you tell me to go”*

I’ve always been the one
To say goodbye
Got good with keeping it out of my eyes
But every time I start
to fall (in love) again
I just think to myself
“yeah right…”


And I said “np, don’t get you hopes up
These things don’t ever last
It’ll all go by way too fast
Stop! Don’t fall for the word ‘love’
You’ll just regret you gave your heart
Cuz they gave it back broken all over again


But I’ve always been the one who’s left behind

Always the one to say goodbye

Saturday, January 8, 2011

wow....T-.....uhmmm nevermind...yess?

mk sooooo aha i started that title a few days ago and it was going to something like "wow,,,, total transformation" or something like that... and i was/am.. but then again...and then it clicked? ahah it was like i had a transformation and then when the transformation was complete and i left that utopian environment it was like i was in withdrawal haha and i kind of tried to push it away from my mind because i missed it too much and my life went on not much different from before. but after a while when i looked back to it in nostalgia rather than in craving, i really felt filled. like i'd been newly replenished with good spirits hehe. and it felt GOOD!!!

i feel like i have more strength and determination to reach my goals that i did before. i feel more like ME strangely enough, since all these feelings come from me wanting to give my life completely to God! i say "want" because i can never be sure that i'm giving everything to Him even though i want to, my human nature is to want to keep everything for myself. but that's ok im working on it ;P

i mean its not like my life is perfect now, my grades still aren't the best, i still have midterms coming up, and school is still stupid but  somehow everything is....better?
life isn't perfect and i don't think life CAN be perfect but it's only as good as you let it be.

i'm just going to say  that in life there ARE downs and you can't keep them from coming but there are things that can make them bearable, as well as nourishing. one of those things is friends. They're always there for you, even if they're not always physically THERE, just knowing that they would be if they could is enough sometimes. and there's always someone who IS there all the time, but it really depends on you to whether or not you want Him to help ;P Don't you have those times where you dont need to talk you just need someone there to sit next to you while you cry? yeah. God is like that.... and you know what? sometimes he even gives you a pat on the shoulder.